How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Neither does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.

When Chuck Norris vomits, wealthy people scavenge it for food. Too bad for them Chuck Norris never vomits.

Chuck Norris has a beautiful singing voice. Unfortunately, the sound of it would melt the average human brain.

What's funnier than a dead baby flying 200MPH?
Stopping it with a shovel.